pie of fail

finalproblem:

Come and play.

Tower Hill.

But how should I sign it?

Jim

He’ll know that’s me, right?

But what if he knows another Jim?

Oh, god. What if he thinks it’s that idiot serial killer Stabby Jim from Manor Park? I hate that guy. Why does he have to be named Jim? Why haven’t I killed him yet?

Maybe if I…

Jim (from the pool)

No. Just—I can’t. No.

Jim M.

That’s better.

Unless Sherlock thinks it’s my brother. Does Sherlock know I have a brother? He might know I have a brother. Why does my brother have to be named Jim? Why does everyone have to be named Jim? Why haven’t I killed everyone yet?

Okay, okay. Calm down. You’re overthinking this. Just keep it simple.

JM

He’ll know who I am. Of course he’ll know who I am. Unless he thinks John’s having trouble telling his Ws from his Ms again. Ha ha ha. I love how stupid ordinary people are.

Initials. Short and to the point. That’s what Sherlock would do.

Crap.

That’s exactly what Sherlock would do. That’s what he always does—“SH”.

What if he thinks I’m copying him?

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Jim Moriarty

Fine.

I’ll just put my whole name.

…

Seems kind of impersonal, though.

Jim Moriarty x

There.

Perfect.

Now should that have a full stop at the end, or…?

Jim Moriarty x.

> SEND MESSAGE

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Why did I do that?

I shouldn’t have added a full stop.

Now he’s looking at the full stop, and he’s judging me.

My giggles are distracting my co workers.