Somewhere I have the pictures my sister sent of the iffy-English funeral wreaths reading “Rest in Place” and I know it’s a translation issue but really that just seems like a more useful instruction altogether.
Sure, peace if you’ve got it, but really just stay where we put you, kthx
(Source: mirrortraffic, via sketchlock)
I’m intolerant to milk, which my mum understands thankfully (it helps that she KNOWS what happens to me when I get ill), I’m sorry your mum isn’t as accommodating :( I’m sure you’ve talked to her, is their any reason she ignores your dietary needs?
I think it’s genuine confusion, which is pretty worrying in its own way. She’s seen me have an allergic reaction (swollen features and hives, thank goodness, rather than full-on anaphylaxis), so it’s not like she isn’t aware it’s a real problem. It’s just this really bizarre and frustrating block in her understanding of the world.
One time when I was visiting, she came home super excited because she’d found gluten-free butter for me. I just sat there blinking at her while she kept saying, over and over, “It’s gluten free! You can eat it! It’s gluten free!” And boy howdy, let me tell you, there is absolutely no way to point out to your mother that gluten and milk aren’t actually the same thing without coming across (or at least feeling like) a huge jerk.
My mother has, once again, expressed confusion about my food allergies.
Her: “But wheat’s okay?”
Her: “What about vegetable shortening?”
… I don’t know, Mom. Are the vegetables made of milk?
I’m giving odds of 4,018-to-1 that I’m not going to be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner, because she’s going to forget that milk is in butter or put skim milk in everything (again) because “that’s not a problem, right?”
So I’m having my own private Thanksgiving today: making mashed potatoes with apple butter and eating this whole damn bag of vegan stuffing all by myself. Oh yes, yes I am.
Well done, Crate and Barrel. Well done.
My husband asked for something, I agreed, and now he’s angry that I agreed.
Divorce is so weird, y’all.
“According to their survey, men hate when women wear beanies, floppy hats, hair bows, open-side shirts, oversize sweaters, shoulder pads, peplums, bandeau bikinis (“they just make your shoulders look like a linebacker”), bright lipstick, heavy eye makeup, fake nails, bangles, pointy-toed shoes, wedge sneakers, ultra-high heels, fold-over ankle boots (“it looks like the shoes have foreskins”), high-waisted jeans, high-waisted shorts, high-waisted skirts (“it lacks a certain degree of subtlety”), pantsuits (“you’re a woman, not a man”), drop-crotch pants (“really, any loose fitting pants,) and mullet dresses (“I just don’t get it — where’s the fucking party??? You are covering the back!”). The question is how to wear all of these things at once.”